Let It Go

Let it go!

I sit up on my living room couch - ears perked, mid-movie - as I hear my two-year-old daughter singing her rendition of “Let It Go” for the first time of the night...

The night- you know- the time when she should be sleeping.

Let it go!

I cringe knowing she will surely wake her sleeping baby brother as her lovely notes ever-so-gracefully escalate with each repetition of the key phrase.

The sound calms for a moment and then I hear a vivid recount of the Frozen book we read before bed.

Let it go!

I look in the camera and I see her holding up a book, like a teacher, arms flailing as she acts out Elsa and Ana creating ice palaces left and right.

And then I see it - the shadow of my son…popping up in his crib, arms stretched out to his sister squealing for her attention.

She continues reading and then I hear him utter two of the four words he knows to date, “Uh- oh!”

They go back and forth.

Uh-oh!
Let it go!
Uh-oh!
Let it go!

And suddenly my cringe turns into a smile.

I tell myself to “let it go.”

I fight the urge to hush them back to sleep.
I fight the fear of a horrible night of sleep for us all (because I know how this ends up.)
I fight the need to stare at the monitor, only to quickly gaze at the clock, as I count the minutes they spend awake and not sleeping.
I fight the habit of playing out the picture of a sleep-deprived day tomorrow in my mind.

And I choose to just let it go.

I choose to see their delight in each other’s company.
I choose to see the love in their voices and communication with one another.
I choose to see their playfulness when they know they should be horizontal and snoozing.
I choose to see their joy in just being present in the moment.

And though it can be hard for me, I choose to heed my daughter’s advice and I join her in her ice filled dream world of letting it go.

I might even sing a verse or two from out here on the couch...

They Say to Enjoy Every Second; I Think They Mean Be Present Every Moment

They say it all the time. “Enjoy every second.”

And when you’re a new mom, it gets kind of annoying.

You hear it over and over again, as though you’re exuding the essence of something other than “enjoying every second.”

Sometimes it even adds to the already growing pile of mom guilt— how can you complain of feeling tired or overwhelmed when you’re supposed to be enjoying every second?

I know. I get it. I’ve been there.

But I’m coming to you from not so far on the other side; my babies are only toddlers now...and I’m starting to get it.

I used to think people said it because they were so sad their kids weren’t babies anymore—you know, tiny, little newborn cuddle bunnies or six-month-olds learning to sit and giggle with those adorable chubby cheeks.

But that’s not it— because, you see, as they grow, so does your love. I can already tell that each “phase” will have it’s own perfection, each age will have it’s own adventures, and each moment will have it’s own joy.

I think they say it because they know all too well that in the beginning when it’s all so very new, it’s just really hard to truly stay in the moment.

Let’s be honest, it’s nearly impossible.

Being a new mom and entering motherhood is life changing in all the ways—all of the beautiful, miraculous, and sometimes incredibly overwhelming ways.

So, I think the women saying this may be looking back and thinking they’d probably do some things differently if they could do it again.

They’d probably care a lot less about what others thought, said and did in those early months and instead take the lead from their very own baby.

They’d probably forgive themselves a lot more frequently and give themselves a lot more grace.

They’d probably forget the dishes, the housework, and all the other things they’d plan to accomplish during their maternity leave and bonding time.

They’d probably trust their own intuition a lot more than the opinions of others.

And, you know what? They’d probably really, genuinely try to simply be present in every moment because they know now that as beautiful as the next moment is, the one you’re in right now with that little one will soon be over and you just can’t quite get it back.

They say “enjoy every moment” but I think they mean “be present in every moment.”

And I also think that this may be the single greatest life lesson we mamas may be able to model for our growing children.