My Real Advice for A New Mom

I always kind of cringe when I hear the question, “What is the best piece of advice you can give to a new mom?” 

Every time, I try and think of the most profound and precisely put phrase of wisdom; yet, in the moment, I am almost never able to utter even a single word of clarity. 

But, when I really think about it, I think it would be something along the lines of this: 
recognize that this journey is the two of yours together—no one else’s—and that you really only get to do the dance once. 

I don’t mean that you aren't allowed to have a bad day, or week, or even month.
And, I don’t even mean that you need to engage with the pressure to enjoy literally every single second because “it goes so fast.” 

What I do mean is that I want you to see that this is YOUR motherhood and YOUR baby and you don’t get a second chance to relive any moment that passes by; so make a conscious choice to honor yourself and your baby and make your own decisions—decisions that align with your heart and soul in each moment. 

Recognize that your baby is not yours to control, but she is her own spirit who will create her own beautiful life because of your unconditional love. 

Understand that your job is not so much about telling her what to do as it is about you two learning and growing together. 

Believe in the power of releasing the desire to stay the course you may have expected to endeavor and instead finding the magic in staying present during each moment of change. 

And accept that things will always change—know inside that this is where beauty arises. 
Your baby will change.
You will change. 
Your relationships with your partner, your friends, your family—they will change, too. 
Find hope and gratitude here. 
Let go of things that were. Stay open to things that are. 

Tune out the noise of what everyone else is doing. 
Dig down deep and discover what is most important to you as a parent.
Push past your fears that will try and stop you from doing what you think is best.
Break through your old beliefs if they don’t align with your heart any longer.
Lean into your own motherly intuition so hard that doubt and insecurities don’t stand a chance and repeatedly lose their grip on your mind… 
and breathe. 

Find the pieces of your newly born backbone and stand up straight, mama, because this baby needs you more than anyone else. Your baby needs you—your voice, your presence, your love. 

You’ve gotta trust yourself. 
You’ve gotta listen to yourself. 
You’ve gotta believe in yourself because

your baby needs to trust you,
your baby wants to listen to you,
your baby simply believes in you—just because you are...mom.

If you do this—if you listen to your heart and soul, if you keep the reality that this only happens once at the forefront of your mind, if you choose to dance—I think you may go on to pass on this advice to others in the future as well. 

It may go further than “sleep when the baby sleeps” because, well—at least in my experience—that will just never happen!